Anguish
by E Asher
Summary: All the angst-ridden drama of an average high school, at Hogwarts. Some OOC, but with reason.
1. Initial Blow

A/N: Italics are Hermione's flashbacks, unless specified as someone else's flashback.

* * *

Tears slid down her cheeks as she stared at his back walking away. She made no move to wipe them away, and they dried there, leaving two salty streaks on her blank face. Hermione had suffered many taunts before, for being smart, for not being of wizarding blood, for not being what teenage society deemed as attractive. But she had never felt scorn like this.  
  
Ron had been "hers" since the end of the summer of their 6th year. Then, seven months later, they had broken up. He had given her feeble answers, which she accepted at the time, only to find the real answer. He had fallen for Padma Patil. Of all the girls Ron had liked or been with in the past, Padma was the least likely for him to end up with again (or so Hermione thought). He didn't even care about her when they were together; how could he dump Hermione for her? Thinking about this, Hermione could feel the tears well up again, so she rushed to the bathrooms.  
  
Hermione remember bitterly the three month courting period she and Ron had spent just playing with the thought of "itemhood." Now, only weeks after their breakup, Ron was not only in a new relationship, but also "in love."  
  
_His arms closed around her tightly. Nothing felt so good as the comfort of a loved ones arms. She pulled back to get a good look at him. She couldn't imagine her fortune at being with him. Even if he never asked her out, she'd be happy just to feel his arms around her whenever he was near. She opened her mouth to ask him something, but before she got the words out, his mouth was there. She had never been kissed before, and she didn't know how to react. When he pulled away, looking at her nervously, she just blushed. With a quick peck on the lips, she turned and walked away. She strode briskly, calling over her shoulder, "Come on, we have to meet Harry at the Three Broomsticks_." 


	2. Tears of a Friend

Ron and Padma sat at a table in the library, eating lunch together. Ron gazed lovingly at her as she giggled.  
  
"Ron, please don't look at me like that. It makes me feel..." Padma's voice drifted off. The look actually made her feel special, but it was in an uncomfortable way, as she wasn't used to boys gawking at her.  
  
"Makes you feel, what?" Ron replied with a smirk, "Beautiful? Because you are."  
  
By great unfortunate timing, Hermione walked into the library just in time to hear this. Ron and Padma looked up at her in surprise. Padma ducked her head down again, embarrassed, whereas Ron just stared, not knowing what to do. Hermione turned on her heel, and rushed back to the Gryffindor commons.  
  
"Hermione?" Angelina Johnson had entered the room so quietly, that Hermione hadn't heard her over her own sobs. Quickly, she dried her eyes and turned to Angelina.  
  
"Hey, Angelina," Hermione said feebly, "What's up?"  
  
"Mew, feeling pretty crappy myself," she replied. "Need someone to talk to?"  
  
"Well, I'm sure you hear the stories. Gossip isn't exactly uncommon at Hogwarts."  
  
At this, Angelina nodded. "So, you're bummed to see Padma and Ron together. Didn't Ron take Padma on a couple dates in your fourth year, and she hated him for a while after?" This time, it was Hermione's turn to nod.  
  
_"Hermione, even you can do better. Ron is rude and immature. He's going to end up a prat, trust me. Remember how he treated me at the Yule Ball 4th year?"  
  
"Thanks, Padma, but I love him. I remember the Yule Ball, and I'm sorry he was an asshole to you, but he's not like that with me."  
_  
"Err...Hermione? Still there?" Angelina's voice brought Hermione back to reality.  
  
"Yea, sorry. Spaced out, I guess," Hermione stuttered. "So, what makes you feel crappy this fine day?"  
  
Angelina sighed. "Well, since you ask... George told me he's in love with me. He won't hang out with the gang after Quidditch anymore, because he says it's too hard for him to see me with his brother. Hermione, what am I going to do? I don't want to come between two brothers, and George is one of my best friends, but Fred and I really love each other." She started to weep, something very rare for Angelina.  
  
Hermione didn't know what to do, so she just rubbed Angelina's back, smoothed her hair. They just lamented together, two friends in need only of a shoulder to cry on.

* * *

"Hey, 'Mione," ventured a voice. Hermione and Angelina looked up with a start. It was Ron. Hermione quickly looked away, and, as if no one was even there, she gathered her books and left the dormitory. As she exited through the painting, she could hear his nervous giggle. She looked back to see Angelina shake her head, causing Ron to simply shrug and walk into his room.  
  
Down in the dining hall, Hermione sat down at the Gryffindor table, not really paying attention to her friends around her. She felt oddly groggy, as though her tears had completely drained her. She wasn't even hungry. She was just going through her daily routine, just continuing to pull herself through the day.  
  
"Hello to you, too, Sunshine," chirped Katie Bell. Hermione looked up at her and forced a smile at Katie and Lee Jordan. They were the epitome of happy couple. So, of course, Hermione walked away from them, mumbling about having to eat in the library, to get some work done. She hated how she couldn't even stand to be near her friends. She glanced over at Harry and Ginny, holding hands at the table. It seemed as though everyone had a special someone.  
  
Everyone except Cho Chang, that is, who was coming up to Hermione. "Hey, Hermione," she said with a sympathetic smile. "I know we're not exactly close, but according to rumor, we've found ourselves in a similar predicament." Hermione looked at Cho questioningly. Cho nodded towards Harry and Ginny forlornly. "I know I messed up my own chances with Harry, but I still love him."  
  
"Hurts, doesn't it?" Hermione replied. "Well, you just gotta hold up your head. Force yourself to think about other boys, other subjects. Just don't think about the hurt and the lies that caused it." Cho nodded with a smile. The same smile Hermione had just given Katie. They did seem to be in a comparable dilemma, but Cho had brought hers on herself. What had Hermione done to deserve this anguish?  
  
_She walked away from his open arms. Why was she acting this way? Even she couldn't answer that question. She hated drama queens, and yet, even as she did it, she knew she was being one. She simply waved to her boyfriend and continued to amble toward down the school grounds.  
  
"'Mione!" He called, but she just kept going.  
  
"Ronald, if you would like to go play against George in chess, then go. I'm not stopping you," she said, coldly. "But I'm continuing with my plans to sit by the lake and look at the stars." What a bitch she was being. Yet somehow, she couldn't stop herself. She felt he was just brushing her off again, and wanted to inflict the same feeling.  
  
Sighing, Ron ran after her. He gave her a big hug. "I'll see you later," he whispered. He leaned in for his goodnight kiss, but she turned her face away. Giving him another quick hug, she left and walked to the lake. _


	3. True Smiles

CLONK! Hermione's books crashed to the floor. "Need some help there?" Ron asked. She could tell he was trying to keep his tone friendly, but he was incredibly nervous.  
"Sure," Hermione mumbled, "thanks." She handed him a few of her books, dividing her pile in half. She knew the only way to move on was to force herself to forgive him. Although her brain didn't quite work like his, she was willing to pretend it did. She was willing to forget the whole thing. If only he'd apologize.  
"Geez, 'Mione," Ron huffed, "You sure have a lot of books." They had started to slip out of his hands. "How do you carry all these around all the time?"  
"Practice, I guess," she was keeping her tone neutral. She couldn't let her guard down yet, but she couldn't be a bitch either. "Final exams are coming up, and I must study. It's a wonder you haven't begun studying yet. You'll never pass if you don't."  
He nodded, the same old nod. He never liked when she got on his case about his grades. He'd made it this far without studying. As a prefect, no less. He wasn't worried about the homestretch. In these moments of silence, the tension began to build again.  
"So, did you hear about Harry and Ginny?" Trying to break the ice, Ron resorted to gossip. He figured it was ok, though; Harry was their connection. Responding to Hermione's quizzical look, he continued, "Yea, Harry apparently fooled around with Cho when he and Ginny first started going together. Ginny found out. You know, she is my sister, and all, so I punched Harry right in his face." Hermione looked alarmed, so Ron hurried on, "Well, it's ok now. I mean, Harry and Ginny aren't really speaking, but Ginny and Cho have become best friends, and Harry and me are cool. Funny thing, girls. If someone cheated on me, I don't think I could just become friends with the other guy..."  
  
_"No, my boyfriend wouldn't like this," she stammered. But Luna loomed.___

_"Well, I won't make you do anything..." the two drunken girls collapsed in a heap of laughter. "Shhhhh... surriously, girls, don't wake up the others..." Luna stammered. She, Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender had stolen some spiked butter beer on their last Hogsmeade visit and were now having a party in their dorm. Now, the silly, drunken girls were kissing. Hermione didn't want to make out with them, though, because even if Ron would like the idea, she still felt it was cheating._

_However, the butter beer got the better of her judgement. As Luna's mouth closed around hers, it felt too right. Luna's tongue caressed hers in way that seemed so close to Ron's, yet somehow softer._  
  
"'Mione?" Ron's voice cut in. By the look on his face, she guessed that he knew what she was thinking. She looked away, not wanting to think about their history. She saw Padma in the stairwell, probably having gone look for Ron. But seeing he and Hermione together, she simply waved and wandered toward the library.  
"So how are you guys?" Hermione asked, her voice wavering.  
Ron hesitated before answering. " We're good. Thank you for asking. She's very sweet," was his reply, "but she doesn't let me have fun like you did," he finished with a wink.

_"The sexual tension between you two is too great. Just kiss already!" Hermione push Alicia and Ron's heads together. What did she care if they made out? She was right there, it was ok; she just couldn't take the tension! The three of them never forgot that night..._  
  
With a glance at Ron, Hermione could see that once again they were thinking about the same thing. They were both blushing immensely.  
"Yea, we were a couple of sluts, huh?" Hermione giggled nervously, and Ron nodded in agreement. "I miss you," she whispered.  
He looked at her in surprise. "I'm sorry." There! There were the words she had been longing to hear!  
At this point they were back in the Gryffindor commons. Angelina and George were playing cards with an Exploding Snap deck, while Harry sat and watched them. By the fire, Katie and Jordan were snuggling. Everything seemed right at Hogwarts. Ron sat at the foot of Harry's chair, while Hermione plopped herself in Harry's lap. Angelina looked up, and the two girls exchanged smiles. For the first time all month, they were real smiles.


End file.
